You're Awful, Awful Good to Look At

In order for this story to work, you need to know that I am utterly horrible at accepting compliments. So, since I cannot accept a compliment to save my life, whenever anyone compliments me, I usually respond using these three tried and true methods:

1) Accept compliment and respond with a fact that makes the compliment less valid. This is my favorite method. Examples: "That's a really nice sweater!" "Thanks! I bought it like five years ago!" OR "That's a pretty necklace!" "Thanks! I bought it at Target! It was really cheap!"

2) Dismiss with an unsavory tidbit. Examples: "You smell really nice" "Oh, thanks but I'm not wearing any perfume. It's probably my hair pomade which I think smells horrible." Or "Katie, your hair looks nice." "Thanks, I took a bath instead of a shower and I didn't have time to wash my hair so it's probably just the dirty bathwater hair effect." (And yes, I've actually said these things.)

3) Laugh sarcastically, thus dismissing the compliment. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." "HA! Hahahahahahaha!" "It's just so sexy when a girl is a designated driver" (I'm not making that one up) "HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha." "When I walked into the bar and saw your beautiful face, I knew you were someone I needed to talk to." "HA! *rolls eyes*" These compliments are ridiculous and obviously insincere; how can you not laugh? Generally, number #3 is only used in a slimy bar setting while talking to icky, button down shirt wearing men. However, I had to bust out tactic #3 at work today. While I was talking to a performer for the summer reading program who had visited our library last summer, he told me that I was the most marvelous children's librarian he had ever met and that I was probably the top children's librarian in the nation! I was witty and well spoken and professional and kind! I laughed, pretty loudly. And I think he was slightly put off. But I had to! This dude met me in my first month of work when I was all twitchy and worried and I spoke to him for 15 minutes tops. And! When we ended our conversation, he told me "Nancy, it was great speaking with you." Nancy is another woman who works at the library who helps me out during programs. I passed on the compliment to her though... and she laughed too, natch.

That being said, you guys are marvelous, witty, well spoken, professional and kind. Thank you for reading :)