Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Crap! What now?

This is going to sound completely ridiculous but the fact that it is 2008 has sent me into what the experts might possibly call a "quarter-life crisis." This perturbs me to no end. I'm practically gagging at the idea of being like the annoying (but awesome) characters in St. Elmo's Fire. But, I'm going through the general symptoms of malaise, freaking out about my financial instability (I should be saving for retirement!), wondering if this *gestures grandly to general surroundings* is it, and if perhaps I should have moved to Key Largo to be a bartender before picking a career. It's ridiculous, I know but I am freaked out. And I'm blaming it all on 2008.

I'm not one of those people who has their life planned out. I don't have a timeline of important events like when I'll get married or when I'll have children or when I'll buy my first home. But, I did have a small timeline when I was in college. It involved two dates: 2005 and 2007. I knew that I would graduate in 2005 from undergrad and I would graduate from grad school in 2007. Slight problem though: I never though beyond 2007. 2008 never even occurred to me! (Yes I am an idiot.) So now I'm sitting in my little town, working at my little library and wondering about what's next. I can see myself staying at my job for the next 5 years, gladly. This doesn't seem like a very long amount of time but let's do some math. I'm 25 right now. In 5 years, I'll be 30. 30!!!!!!!!!!!! Gaah! I'm not worried about being thirty but if I'm still living in this little town with no social life to speak of, worrying about being seen buying wine at the grocery store, I will be very worried about being thirty.

I want a full and happy life and in this little town, I'm not finding that. Yes, my job is great but I can't just survive on a good job. I need a social life! I have friends from college that I get to see once a week and thank god for them. But I've been living here 8 months and I haven't met ANYONE. Not even someone I could write off as being boring or stupid (yup, I'm judgmental). Part of this is my fault: I don't feel comfortable going out in this wee little town and cutting a rug. Heck, I don't even feel comfortable buying Tylenol PM in this town (really, I went to the Walgreens one town over...) And that *severely* limits the people that I meet.

I'm not really a resolutions girl (I make them and break them minutes later) but I'm going to make a change in the new year. If I was a 40-year-old man, I would buy a Maserati. In order to fix this quarter-life crisis thing, I have a three step plan:

1) Move. Currently I'm living in a two bedroom apartment in the town where I work. It's too expensive, I don't need two bedrooms and I really don't need to live five minutes away from the library.

2) Find a new gym. My gym is also located in the town where I work. I hate my gym! It's way too family oriented and they have nothing fun to do except lift weights and walk on the treadmill. I hate walking on the treadmill. And I hate that I see people from the library. So I'm not going. And now I feel like a slug.

3) Grow out my hair... maybe. This isn't really going to help. But perhaps my boredom and malaise will be cured with a new hairstyle?

So, that's that. We'll see how this plan works out. I'll keep you guys updated (finally, something to write about besides work!)


At 4:32 PM, Blogger Librarian Girl said...

A new hairstyle can help a lot of things, that's for sure!

I'll be interested to see how your plan unfolds!

At 7:03 PM, Blogger Peregrine said...

I'm dreaming of retirement, or at least semi-retirement...and it's been, what, 9 months since graduation?

And I love the phrase "cut a rug!"

At 7:03 PM, Anonymous leah said...

There's plenty o' time between 25 and 30, don't panic! (Furthermore, bizzo, 30 is not THAT old.)

I like your plan to move to a new and kickin' town. Make sure that new town has hot firefighters!

At 8:44 AM, Blogger Deborah said...

Sounds like a solid plan!

Don't discount the season's effect on your social life. January and February pretty much suck, and when the weather warms up this spring there will be people coming out of the woodwork and more socializing possibilities. Last summer you were probably too crazy busy with graduating and moving and summer reading programs to take advantage...

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous marty said...

I agree that there is a lot of time between 25 and 30. At 25, I was single, hated my job, and lived in a shitty apartment building that I shared with a dude who used the communal exercise room in his tighty-whiteys. Now I'm 30 and married (not that that's necessarily better than being single - just a change), like my job, and in a new house with a crazy family of dogs and cats. So I think lots of stuff is going to change for you - and your plan for moving and getting a new haircut sounds like an excellent start. :) Post a picture!

At 1:09 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Here's a thought for you. January doesn't have to suck. Just remember all the fun you just had with friends and family who don't ordinarily take the time to get together. Think about the wonderful food you just enjoyed at all those great parties. And most of all, remember that January is the best month of the year for shopping! Take January, and bask in the warm afterglow of all the great times. Also, 30 is in two weeks for me, and I'm not freaking out. Not yet anyway. :)

At 7:23 PM, Blogger Klara Kim said...

Either your email address is not on your blog or it is right in front of me and I simply can't see it. :/

Um, anyhow, hello! This might seem out of the blue (because it is), but do you happen to (A) do collection development and (B) be interested in answering some interview questions for my Collection Development assignment? See, I'm a student at UIUC and am supposed to interview somebody I am not personally acquainted with who works in the field I want to be in one day. Class hasn't even met yet, so I'm not sure what kind of questions I'm supposed to come up with, but I thought I'd email potential people nice and early to find out who would be interested in answering these Mysterious Future Questions. I picked you as a candidate because I think your blog is funny and we have the same initials.

You can say no if you are too busy or simply don't want to! But I promise it would not be a difficult interview and I might send you a thank you card or some cookies or something in return.

Klara@ gmail-dot-you-know-what


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