I'm sick of writing about work...

...so you're getting a meme since I don't quite have a life outside of work yet. I saw this on the internets and I'm making it my own.

Who was your first love?
Chad, who was also my first real friend. We met in preschool and formed the "High Top Club"--of course you could only be a member if you had high tops. (Mine were Punky Brewster.) I loved him so much that I wanted to spend all of my time with him. But, we only had preschool part of the week so on the days I wasn't at school, I had my imaginary friend, Chad... which created lots of confusion. Which Chad heard that story? Which Chad was playing London Bridges with me? He had the coolest parents too--his mom was a policewoman and his dad worked for an educational toy company (Chad had lots of cool learning friendly toys) and his dad looked like Dave Grohl in the Foo Fighter's Monkey Wrench video (I figured that out as a teenager). We went to the same elementary school until second grade when he went to public school and I stayed in private school. But, in an interesting twist of fate, we went to the same high school and in my 14 year old nostalgic mind, he was as cute as ever. He heard about my infatuation and told his mom he was going to ask me to the homecoming dance. She (get this!) told him that he was too immature and I was too nice to go with an immature boy like him. He didn't ask me. I'm still pretty darn pissed off with his mom for that one. He's now married... to a 40 year old... who's been divorced twice and has a son who's 19 (we're 24!). I'm not trying to be judgmental but come on.

Who was your first kiss and when?
I'm going to be vague. I was in college (I was terrified of boys all through high school... oh wait, I'm still terrified of them) and it was someone I should not have been kissing... so much so that I started laughing in the midst of it. His tongue hit my teeth. I'm mortified just thinking about it.

Who was your first prom date?
Andy. This one was a doozy. He was my ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend--and we became ex-best friends while she was dating him. And at the time, my friend (a different friend!) was in love with him and he was asking for her advice about asking me and trying to date me. I wanted nothing to do with him--because of the whole ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend thing. And of course, I didn't know that my friend liked him so I was spouting how uninterested I was (she told me years later that she was really trying hard not to hate me during all of that). But, he asked me in a really sweet way--my favorite fruit is the beautiful banana so he spelled out PROM? in bananas on my front porch. The dot on the question mark was a pineapple with a note from him. And hell if I was going to miss my first prom. We went and I tried very very carefully to avoid his amorous intentions i.e. feeling up my leg while we were dancing. It was pretty horrid but I had a great dress (black strapless--something I would still wear to this day) and I had loaves of banana bread hanging out in my freezer for months.

Who was your first roommate?
Rebecca i.e. Becca i.e. Rebs i.e. Berecca She was my freshman year roommate and we stayed together for a second year. She was Interesting (with a capital I) and Unique and Cute and Little and even though we got along really well, I always felt either not cool enough or jealous of her coolness. But, it was still a really good experience--considering we got randomly put together freshmen year.

What was your first job?
Cashier at the high school indoor pool. I hung out with a lot of swimmers in high school who all became lifeguards and all went to work at the pool. I didn't want to be left out but couldn't swim worth a darn. Thus, I became the pool's cashier and became very good at making change.

What was your first car?
Scooty McDrive, a 1992 white stick shift Saturn. I bought it with my own money, paid car insurance for it, decorated it with all of the bumper stickers I had been saving up for years and it died 7 months later. We replaced the engine (MISTAKE! HUGE MISTAKE!) and it continued to die during inopportune moments. It was so traumatic--that piece of shit broke my heart.

When did you go to your first funeral?
Sadly, I've been going to funerals all my life. The first significant one was my paternal grandfather's funeral when I was in kindergarten. I don't remember a lot about it but I do remember the wake and the fact that it smelled like flowers and tears (I'm still not sure how I came up with tears.) I couldn't handle being in the room (and my mom was too busy taking care of my dad who was a mess) so I went with my cousin and sat in the funeral home's kitchen.

How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
18 I suppose.... when I moved to the dorms

Who was your first-grade teacher?
Miss Gray. In true parochial school form, she was mean and horrible. At the time I liked her but looking back on it, she shouldn't have done a lot of the things she did... like duct taping a kid's hands to his desk for an entire afternoon so he stopped fidgeting.

When you snuck out of the house for the first time, who was it with?
Me? Sneak out of the house? Ha! Never! (No, really, I'm not being sarcastic.) Not only did I never sneak out of the house, I thought never even occurred to me.

Who was the first person to send you flowers?
My parents. My mom looooves sending flowers. So much so that whenever I move anywhere, she immediately finds a local florist... just in case.

When was the first time you got drunk?
Spring semester of my freshmen year of college. My friend had a bottle of Amaretto and I had some Capri Sun juice pouches. Five girls from my floor and I played Asshole with shots of Amaretto with a Capri Sun chaser. Disgusting and hilarious! When I got "sobered" up, I felt incredibly guilty and began emailing my high school friends (who were nondrinkers with me back in high school) about the horrible thing I had done. Turns out, they had all basically done the same.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Hit the snooze button, realized I was cold and happily pulled my down comforter up and snuggled in. Then finally got up and rushed rushed rushed so I wouldn't be late for work.