*insert laugh track here*

While looking for some easy readers:
Me: Have you read this book, Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa?
Kasey, 6-years-old: Cocoa!? It's not even winter!

These are the books in your library

Summer is never a fun time for public librarians. Sure, it's a productive time and it makes us look good--kids are reading, families are checking out materials and bringing their kids to programs--but man is it hard on the nerves. Yesterday afternoon, after witnessing a kid wapping his brother on the head with one of the summer reading program prizes, I busted out a librarian voice so stern I didn't even know I had it in me. Summer really does bring out the best in each and every one of us.

It doesn't help that our library has another big huge project that needs to be completed by the end of the summer. Basically, we have a bunch of books that have bad cataloging records that won't be compatible with our new library system, which will be arriving in September. Ultimately, this is a good thing; it's basically a big huge, easy as pie weeding project. It's just horrible timing. My little desk area in the children's room is covered in SRP sign up clipboards, SRP prizes, storytime sign up clipboards, storytime books and crafts and lots and lots of old books. A library volunteer pulled all of the books with old records and stacked them around my desk. I basically have a fort, built out of books, which probably used to be a dream of mine when I was younger. Which is all fine and good until one of the stacks topples and you can't get to your file cabinet and a kid knocks over another stack while picking up his Pizza Hut personal pan pizza coupon.

The only thing keeping me sane is the gems I'm finding in these stacks--I'm finding ridiculously outdated books, politically incorrect books and books that were old when I was a little kid. Examples:

"Festivals of West Germany." A perfect source for every child's nonfiction needs!

"The Truth About Old Wives Tales." Old Wives Tales they chose to tackle: "Hair of the Dog, the Ultimate Hangover Remedy," "Black Coffee Sobers You Up," "Beer Before Whiskey, Pretty Risky; Whiskey Before Beer, Never Fear," and my personal favorite "You Can't Get Pregnant If You Have Sex Standing Up." All of these helpful lessons could be found until recently in the juvenile section of the library. (by the way, if you were wondering, their verdict is not true, not true, maybe and not true.)

"World War II and the Modern Age" from the Universal History of the World series, dated 1966. Thus, the "Modern Age" involves putting the word astronaut in quotations (you know! those new fangled people who fly in space!), and featuring pictures of computers that make this look high tech. They also smell as modern as their content.

Out of the Mouths of Babes, The Violent Edition

Mary, 2-years-old, speaking to her sister as "Mr. Zebra," the zebra puppet: Anna, I am going to come over there and bite you!

Grace, 3-years-old, to her brother Jack, while fighting about the computer: I'm going to cut your neck!

Eric, 12-year-old SRP volunteer, to fellow SRP volunteer, Christian: So I was totally two-timing this girl and she found out and she totally punched her!

Library Land Updates

-The library flooded yesterday! Our basement is currently under about a foot of water, which also means that our summer reading program book prizes are also under a foot of water.

-I had my rain boots in my car so I was sent downstairs to investigate the extent of the damage. All of our reading program book prizes are soaking wet as are the entire contents of the annual Friends of the Library book sale. Not. Cool. And pretty depressing too.

-I'm pretty sure the summer reading program is cursed. It's the first one I've planned and everything is going wrong. Something goes wrong and I fix it. And then two days later, something else goes wrong. And it's only June. The damn thing hasn't even started yet. Who knows what July is going to bring.

-The apartment moving went wonderfully and I'm all settled in. Thanks to Hernia Movers. They truly are the potentate of totin' freight.

-There's a car in the apartment complex parking lot with two bumper stickers. 1) "I fake it so he buys me stuff." and 2) "I'm proud of my cub scout." I can't wait to meet my neighbors.

-There is a guy in the library with a little baby and the guy cannot be more than 20. And he's wearing a wedding ring. I feel old. And single.

-The other people in the children's room is a dad and his daughter. She's approx. 4 y.o. and she's playing on her dad's laptop. She just told her dad "Dad, I logged off!"

Insane in the Membrane (but hopeful about the future)

It seems to me that I pick the worst possible times to do stuff. Why in god's name did I think moving on May 30th was a good idea!? There is major craziness happening at the library right now, as it is mere weeks away from the summer reading program kick off and I have to visit all of the elementary schools in town (there are only 5 but it definitely is a time suck.) Basically, I'm driving myself insane.

Evidence: Today is Sunday. Why then did I wake up at 7:30 this morning, think it was Monday, realize that I had to visit a school and that I had nothing planned? I'm sure everyone has those moments when they wake up and they don't know what day it is, but not only did I not know what day it was, I jumped out of bed, threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and was totally ready to go to work and throw stuff together for a school visit. I was grabbing my purse and my keys and trying to de-puff my hair when I thought to myself "Why didn't you do this when you worked on Sunday?" And then I paused, put down my keys and turned on the TV. Luckily, some kind anchorperson was talking about the weather and said "Well, it looks like Sunday's going to be a bit overcast but tomorrow it should brighten up a bit." And only then did I realize that today was Sunday and that I had plenty of time to grab some books for my school visit.

One of my favorite Counting Crows songs is "Amy Hit the Atmosphere" and there's a lyric that seems to be pertinent right now: "Today was just a day fading into another and that can't be what a life is for." That's how it feel right now. There's no distinction anymore between the weekend and the weekday and Monday is no different than Wednesday. I know a lot of that is to blame on the fact that I'm getting ready to move and getting everything set for the summer reading program. But, I've been here for a year and it seems like all of the days are fading together: work, go home, go back to work, go home, go back to work, go home. The only exciting thing I can add to conversations right about now is what I watch on PBS. And while PBS rocks, I don't think that's its purpose.

And regarding the firefighter: I messaged him on facebook, just telling him thanks for being so nice to the kids, and he responded very nicely and professionally, saying that they love serving their community and that I should contact them if I would like to schedule a program. I messaged back that that would be great and I am still awaiting a response. Truthfully, the novelty of all of it has sort of passed. It was nice to think about for a while but now? Eh. If I can get a program out of it, marvelous. If not, that's just fine by me. I'm just glad that I did *something.* It's been a very very long time since I've sucked it up and just put myself out there.

Speaking of bravery, I talked to one of my good friends yesterday and she told me that when I was living in Madison, I seemed brave and confident and like I took care of myself first. She said that I don't seem to be doing that anymore. I'm putting everyone else's needs in front of my own, mainly because I've lost that bravery. And she's right. I've been hiding ever since I moved here and it's taken it's toll. I'm always down on myself and I let people treat me "shabbily" (to quote the mom from Gidget). I think moving is going to help me get back to the old me. I know it's not an automatic miracle cure for what ails me but it's a new start. And it's not just that. I've decided that I need to get out more (stating the obvious here). In Madison, I had school, I had work, I had friends, I had happy hours. Here, I have work. I don't think I'm just going to happen upon a random group of people needing another happy hour participant so I'm taking a different approach. I've decided that I'm going to volunteer at the local humane society as a dog walker. I'm hoping this will give me something to do that isn't just work, something to talk about besides "My job is great." I'm also leaving my family friendly gym in the middle of my current town of residence (it really needs a nickname doesn't it?), joining the Y in my new town and starting back up with yoga classes and water aerobics, both of which have made me feel happy and less neurotic in the past. And if all else fails, I will make my mother happy and I will start going to church. (I'm hoping that my life feels full before that.... sorry Mom but I'm still having a "crisis of faith.")

I have a feeling June is going to be a good month. I just have to make it through the next few weeks (and hopefully I'll remember what day it is from now on...)

Yes. With Popcorn and Junior Mints.

Sam: Miss Katie, have you watched all of the movies at the library?
Me: Well, I've seen some but not all.
Sam: Do you watch them in a big private library room by yourself?

Out of the Mouths of Babes: 10:15

6-year-old boy: Do you have kids?
Me: Nope, I don't.
6-year-old boy: Well, if you get some, you should buy them legos.